Getting better

Yesterday and today are easier days for me as I prepare for running 105 minutes (which will likely transfer to just over 10 miles) tomorrow. And by "prepare" I mean eat jelly beans, laze around and obsessively check the weather while simultaneously willing it to change from possible snow and definite rain to 50* and sunny. I have a 30 minute run on the schedule today but that isn't too bad for me these days.

And I can scarcely believe I even can write that. Who is this person that thinks a 30 minute run isn't too bad? Now, I'm not running these super speedy-- or else a 30 minute run would be much, much harder. My running these days is about 75% getting in the distance/time and 25% picking up my speed. I don't run my short runs fast unless I'm at the track for an intervals workout.

But where am I going with all of this? The other day Mel from Tall Mom on the Run posted this saying:

I didn't know why it struck me so much at first, but as I sat with it, I started to figure it out. From the time I started getting serious about my fitness level and then started running/training I always, always told myself "when you get stronger this will be easier". Now, yes, if I "phone in" my workout then it's easier, but that isn't really what I'm talking about here. It turns out the workouts don't get easier. I am working just as hard but am going faster/longer/harder than I ever have. 

So far I have been having a hard time giving myself credit for the increased strength. At some point during any given bootcamp class or intervals class you can hear me uttering something along the lines of "oh, I am going suck at this!" (though I try to be a bit more witty about my choice of words). But you know what? I usually don't. I usually am stronger than I thought I was going to be. 

The other night at bootcamp we all had to do full push-ups at the end of the night. We all groaned, probably no one more loudly than me. I always, always do my push-ups with my knees on the ground, claiming I am not strong enough to do the full ones. But I did them. And I did more than I thought I would (since I thought I couldn't even do one!) It was eye-opening. I wondered, why didn't I think I could do real push-ups? I guess it should be easier. But as the saying above goes, full push-ups aren't easier, I am just getting better.